Wanting security and being a goldigger are not one and the same




I love how the media (specifically the hip hop media) drummed up this notion that a woman that wants security, and maybe a occasional acknowledgment of her love and devotion is a gold digger. Now I'm not saying that goldiggers don't exist, they do. however, women who just want a decent guy with a job are getting lumped in this category, and women are being brainwashed to feel bad that they should want a man that has his own and is willing to support and share the fruits of his labor. Songs like "shes got her own" by Neo is praised as such a great song but when "bills, bills, bills" came out from the now defunct Destiny Child. its was labeled  a goldigger  anthem  when if you listen to the lyrics she was really complaining about how he was using her:

And now you ask to use my car
Drive it all day and don't fill up the tank
And you have the audacity
To even come and step to me
And ask to hold some money from me
Until you get your check next week


But everyone from, Mike Baisden to our new fave Steve Harvey. Labeled this song as a GD anthem. Almost making women feel guilty about liking that song. The thing is that you should not settle for a broke man NEVER! its hard enough to keep your head above water, so now you are supposed to be with a man that has nothing or a little of something???? no way. I know the economy is bad. So I know not every guy you will meet will have a ton of money, but they are men. There are jobs out there for them, they can be cops, work in construction. I know men at this moment that don't have  a lick of education, yet they are making good (legal) money. And those are the men you should look for. You should never plan a future with a man where you have to be the one that pays for most of the expenses or all of them. Two broke people make for a hard relationship. And if anything sticks in your head about this particular post remember this: the more money a man has the more manly he feels, the less he has, the more emasculated he feels. When men feel that they cannot provide they will not feel happy and therefore will not make things easier in the relationship. On the other hand, if they have no problem with you going in your pocket all the time. RUN! he is lazy and has no pride as a man. he is looking for a mother, and YOU are the mommy, cut that dead weight asap!

Men are providers in society still I don't care what anyone says about women being super independent or whatever. Men still to this day make more money then women and therefore they usually have more freedom to spend money how they choose. If a man loves you you dont have to ask him to get you anything, he will just do it! My man knows I'm a sucker for chocolate and I love love love clothes! one day he asked me "what size shirt you wear?" I told him "small" and nothing more was said about it. He goes on business trips from time to time. When im with him, he will take a day for us to shop. He tells me to get whatever I want. At first, I used to feel weird about taking anything from him. I was so brainwashed into thinking I should not accept it, that I was being too greedy. But I understood that he felt happy about it. He delighted to see the look on my face when I bought a hat that I liked or got a dress I always desired. When I cannot come with him, he always gets me chocolates in the state or country he is in and he buys me some type of top that he thinks I will like. And he always gets something I like because he pays attention to what I like. When I asked him why he gets me so many things he said " I like that I have the means to give to you, I like that I can tell you we can do anything you like I would not be successful if i didn't have the right woman beside me" so you need a man that thinks this way. Its not that you are a goldigger, Goldiggers ask. Real women just receive.

In conclusion. you are  beautiful, wonderful, human being, you have to have the frame of mind that men should be happy that you are giving them the time of day. You give your time and love to the man in your life. You deserve a man that wants you to be secure and happy. That wants to provide for you and your family. Any man that thinks you should take care of everything is not a man but a leech. You should have your own, but when you are in need of anything being love, protection and monetary support, the man in your life should be there, and willing except nothing less!


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