If he cheats, should you just forgive and forget?????
The whole controversy on whether you should forgive forget has hit an all time high. Stand by your man seems to be the case like in the Bill Clinton scandal to allegedly the jay-Z debacle. We are always told to forgive and forget, forgiveness heals all wounds, but there is a thin line between being forgiving and being a fool.
If someone aggressively makes advances to win your affections, should you give them another chance based on their actions? I mean. If he is willing to tell your friends, family and possibly the world that he effed up, he deserves another chance right? Well you must consider a couple of factors before you take the forgiveness route:
- If he didn’t get caught, he would have still been doing it
- If the tables were turned how would he react to your infidelity, would he be forgiving?
- What are his reasons for the infidelity?
- Is he generally a selfish person or did this come out of left field?
You also have to take into account that when this infidelity occurred, he risked your health, possibly your physical safety (there have been stories when the other woman was violent against the girlfriend/wife) so the question is, would you really want to take someone back that acted in such a selfish, risky way? And if you take them back, what is the likely hood of them doing it again? As stated in my book, sometimes it’s very hard to leave a relationship because we are scared to be alone. ( I have techniques in the book that guard against this) but all the time you are taking with someone that simply has no respect for you, that would continue to cheat and only stopped because they were caught, risking you getting a STD and possibly get hurt by a complete stranger. Who wants the aggravation, y if they are late, or you cannot reach them on the phone, it will always be in the back of your mind that this person may be cheating. We have enough stress in our lives. Why add more? You have to wake up and face the truth. This is a narcissistic person. And the only reason they are sorry, crying and begging to take you back is because they got their hand caught in the cookie jar. You do not realize what you got till it’s gone some say. And leaving them for good is a great thing. Not only will you rid yourself of someone that has no regard for you or your love. But maybe they will see it as a lesson that you treasure what you have and not after the fact.
(Please check out the play “Men cry in the dark”) a really great play on the subject ;)