Regulating the Game: Controlling YOUR dating world

As Valentines day nears. There are many single women who have more stress nearing February 14th.  This is because we are conditioned, especially as women to feel less than a woman if we are not in a romantic relationship. We are somehow not special if we are not walking around with flowers in hand with a place to go. We must really look at the big picture when it comes to Valentines Day, it's a well devised marketing tactic and its just another way to generate revenue for the masses.  So we scramble, we date our little  hearts out  hoping that when that day comes we can tell our co-workers, friends and possible frienemies that we are anticipating a night of romance from a man who will validated us. Valentines Day is a statement to others that "I'm wanted!' "I'm attractive!" I'm special see the flowers!!!  what you must know is that you are more than flowers and candy and you are more than one day. Romantic love is great isnt it?  you feel so w...

  January 1st came and went and so the resolutions have come. No time like the present to get you together! but to avoid you from procrastination monster (please see my post on procrastination) y You need to get motivated, and I mean like YESTERDAY!!!!! when  next year comes around  you can say I evolved! I accomplished! I succeeded! So what is your passion? what are you dreams? what is keeping you from them. ABSOLUTELY  NOTHING!!!! if its money, you can save some to pay for what you want, you need to find love? you will find it withing yourself. You want to lose weight? its time to get to that gym and make a plan to go several times a week! DO IT!!!!! You have to know with any goal in life that you need 3  things to succeed, CONSISTENCY AND DETERMINATION AND FOCUS!!!! you will not accomplish anything if you do not live these principles. put them on your wall, say them before you leave the house. Tell yourself you can do it!! and do it! I'm ...

We have all been insulted, put down at one point of our lives. But what is the effect when its someone very close to you? a partner is supposed to be a person that supports your dreams and eases your fears, bring you up when you feel down and such.  With physical abuse, you can see the pain. The deeper the bruises, the harder the pain that was inflicted, but verbal abuse is much more violent and hurtful. How is that you ask? because the mentally pain last much longer, from months to years and it can slowly tear apart at your psyche. Is more hurtful because it cannot be seen by the naked eye, therefore its less likely to be remedied. And once the soul is hurt, everything crumbles. How do you know verbal abuse from criticism? because after someone give you a critique you should not feel worse than you started. Verbal abuse makes you feel low, useless, ugly, dumb and all the negative things one can imagine. the verbal abuser makes you feel like a child and they act as if ...

As the saying goes, knowledge is power and as the growing sisterhood we are becoming, I would like to share with you things that has helped me along my journey to greatness. We all need tools and encouragement so feel free to take a look, some may not be for you, but I'm sure you will find something to your liking.   Books: Fat, broke and lonely no more by Victoria Moran Really loved this book it was really a good read and one of the best self help books I have ever read. The Rules, By Ellen Fein ans Sherrie Scheider This is the "what mamma used to tell you" type of advice, its ages old and it still works! very great tool for dating The Secret by Rhonda Burne  It is very popular and encouraging to really affirm your dreams   Websites:   http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About   really gives tips on how to start conversation. expanding your circle is great. it not only gives you op...

 We have all experienced it. We planned to do something amazing, astronomically life changing. Maybe we wanted to lose weight, or plan for a trip, or finally go back to school. But a week, day or month goes by and next thing you know. we are still at square one feeling guilty. "where did the time go? when am I going to let this procrastination stop!" "how could I let this happen?" well the truth is. If you have been putting your goal off, you just weren't that into it. Read any of the biographies of some of the richest people in the world and you will see that they had one thing in common. FOCUS and DETERMINATION. They ate, slept and drank their goal, they were consumed by it. and they never stopped until it was accomplished. Soooooooooooo how much do you want it!!! the procrastination monster feeds of excuses, it loves terms like "I'm just to tired" "maybe tomorrow" "when I have time" this makes the procrastination ...

I know that sometimes rejection is a very hard blow to the ego but what is the use of being around a man that does not want you! you should never beat yourself up over a man that is not into you. 9 times out of 10. he was not worth it anyways. But don't get desperate, changing who you are, doing things that make you uncomfortable to keep him. None of it will make him want to keep you. If you are not sure if he is not into you here are some signs: 1. If he calls you late at night or only texts you most of the time 2.If he never takes you out and you are always at his house or vice- versa 3. You don't see him often only a couple of times a month and its only for sex. 4. You call him and he doesn't call you right away or you are always calling him. 5. If you go out, you are always paying. 6. He argues with you before holidays or you never get anything from him during the holidays There are plenty more but if you find yourself doing thin...

        How to deal with a selfish man! (is he worth the long haul?)   people in general are selfish beings. But men can be some of the most selfish people because if their ego. Do you notice that most books on dating cater to how women should woo a man? you never see a book for men on how to be a better husband, boyfriend or lover. Why is that? because with men its often a one-sided thing. You give so much of yourself, only to get crumbs. How do you know you are dealing with such a man? well here are the signs: 1. He never does what you want, he only does an activity where he would like it. 2. He never listens to  your needs, the more you talk about it, the more he ignores your pleas. 3. His problems are bigger than yours, if you have a problem he is not really concerned. but he expects you to be more concerned with his. 4.He isn't thoughtful, no flowers just because, or no love letters to you. 5.He wants sex his way, he is never c...